Disrupt-Her by Miki Agrawal

Author:Miki Agrawal
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2018-11-27T16:00:00+00:00

“What’s this ‘Drama Triangle’?” I asked.

“The Drama Triangle is the persecutor, the victim, and the rescuer. I’ve been reading up on this since all this stuff with Jen happened. It’s pretty spot-on as it relates to what I experienced.”

We’ll get into the Drama Triangle later in this chapter.

I’ve been hearing more and more about “girl-on-girl” conflict and how girls and women are often more ruthless with one another than with a male counterpart. According to pretty much all psychological research, women are often harder on each other than men are on each other.

For example, research shows that women are less likely to be friends with women who are “sexually promiscuous,” compared to men, who are more likely to be friends with other men who are sexually promiscuous.1 Women are definitely more sensitive to social exclusion than men, and when they feel threatened by the thought of being left out, their first response may be to socially exclude another woman. A study examining aggressive attitudes and behavior of fourth- and fifth-grade boys and girls found that girls were significantly more victimized from a relational standpoint, while boys were significantly more victimized from a physical standpoint.2 A mother’s influence also plays a significant role: “Women who are mean-spirited about other women were often raised by a mother who probably didn’t like herself and didn’t feel warmly toward women, in general, either.”3 Finally, and most importantly, anxiety is a key factor: “The majority of female criticism actually stems from feeling inadequate in an area of life they value highly.”4 So, for example, an insecure woman might judge a secure woman to compensate for her anxiety around her own self-image.

Based on this research, I realized that this girl-on-girl aggression is rooted in the patriarchal system. Women seeing other women as sluts, versus men not thinking of sexually promiscuous men in a negative light, is clearly a response to what’s “acceptable in society today” (that is, a patriarchal society)—otherwise it would be equal judgment on both sides. The same goes for the way women judge other women’s appearance. It’s all wrapped in current societal standards.

You might be thinking, Yeah, but I know some women who do this and have very cool moms. Why would those kind of women be inclined to perpetuate girl-on-girl aggression?

I was curious too, so I did some research, and the puzzle pieces started coming together.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.